Several years ago, during the downtime period of my life, and this literally were the leanest financial times of my so far spent life. I remember telling many lies just to get by because people started sounding like they were tired of helping (after all, everyone had their own belying responsibilities, didn’t they?).
This particular day, I was completely out of food and to make matters worse, I didn’t even have a coin to my name, so I sent my friend an SOS message and he replied saying that I come to his house to collect N5,000. Gratefully, I set out for his house. On arrival there, we entered a conversation about life, my efforts in getting a job and what I had been up to. We discussed at length about my efforts in getting a job, but you know when you are going through a challenge, those “God go do am” messages sound very blasé, very “platitudinal” and can be annoying.
He encouraged me with the “God go do am” message , lines I’d then gotten tired of hearing. I then asked for the N5,000 he promised, I couldn’t believe his reply. “Bonge, I been dey expect some cash but e never enter”, – he said, dressing up for work so we could drive out together. To be honest, everything else he said from that point was a soundless gong! I didn’t hear a single word! It was when he tapped me on my shoulder saying he was ready that I snapped back to reality, realizing he had been talking to me all along. I had noticed this book, “Faith Study guide and Prayer Study guide” all by Kenneth Hagin on his piano and I picked one up, flipping through just to ignore his ‘grammar’ and mask my emotions. I was so angry ehnn! When I heard him say, “in fact, just carry the prayer study guide, go read am, e make sense wella”, I carried it grudgingly just so he wouldn’t feel slighted, but in my mind what would have made sense wella would have been the N5,000 he’d promised.
The bible says “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23). Since the heart can be so naturally deceitful, a vigilant eye is to be kept upon it and all the avenues to it to be watched, that nothing hurtful enters. Although I felt inspired enough to glance through some pages of the book, I also remember this moment creating a deep disconnect for me.
Instead of focusing on the many helpful insights that emerged from the book, I found myself clinging to my sense of deep offence at him failing to make good his promise but instead just giving me N300 which had served no useful purpose, as I’d had to return the N250 borrowed to get to his house. I kept mentally rehashing all the reasons I felt my beloved friend didn’t do well. I got home, shut myself and prayed my neighbour wouldn’t come asking for his N250 back.
As I sat down in the house, I opened this book, not to read but grumble some more “dis guy no just wan help me, as if na book I been ask am for?” But right away it then occurred to me that I was doing myself wrong;. I was shutting myself down from the present moment. So I stopped and asked myself, “What might the lesson be here?” “Did God need me to get a hold of that book to free me from wrong mindsets and change me?” Today I can emphatically say this, that one book, without a doubt started something in me that words can’t describe. God saved me. I started a journey with God and ‘we still’ rolling.
A lot of times our desires of filling our pockets with cash, loading up on material possessions, and getting help from others especially when you are a broke ass guy without a job can become our way of life. Often times our hearts beg for us to listen — to find what God is communicating to us at every moment. So we come into situations never really taking the time to see God in the moment. When my friend whom I was sure understood my dire straits and did not help me, it made me feel discontent and allow my circumstances be my guide instead of God. So instead of letting difficulties draw you into worrying and complaining, try to view them as setting the scene for a glorious intervention.
I think that to really get the best of every moment, we must allow ourselves to be vulnerable. You never can tell your moment, that exact moment that changes everything for you.
Photo Credit: http://images.agoramedia.com/