THE MOTHER-IN-LAW I DID NOT HAVE …

When I first met you
You didn’t look directly at my face
No, you busied yourself trying to make me feel comfortable
Dressed in the Naija bohemian way
You had prepared yam and sauce and insisted that I eat
You would have made fufu
But your son was bringing home a North Central girl
Fufu and swallow may not be her thing
And you were right
You set a table in your little room
You reminded me of a matron
So prim and proper
Set on the table, dishes,napkins and cutlery
How tasty that meal was
True, Akwa Ibom women were born in the kitchen
You stopped me from doing the in-law runs thing
No clearing the table, no washing the dishes for me
You had your boys to do all of that
And if they couldn’t you were capable too.
And after that, we had a long long talk
Long long long doesn’t cut it
“My son has a ministry so his wife cannot wear pants”
Alas, I was wearing jeans and decked very sporty
You shared your dreams for your children
And told me Ekom’s miraculous childbirth story
You poured your heart out to me
Told me of you and the mistakes you had made
Just you and I alone in that little room
You told me your heart, your dreams and desires
Your victories and struggles…
How long did you wait for a daughter to pour your life to?
How long did you wait for me to come?
I left that day and I realised
I had another mother whether I liked it or not
You called me
Always…
You prayed for me
Always…
You would finish my airtime blessing me
I would complain fondly to Ekom
“She finished my airtime”
He would laugh and say,
“She just exhausted mine”
What did you say?
We would travel out without paying for it?
God will raise men to help us
We will be recognised in our places of work
We will get new jobs
We will prosper so we can take  care of family
We will never lack or sorrow
The God you serve will never leave us
We will take care of you
What did you call me?
God of my Blessing be praised?
When sick, you will rejoice
You would say, “The devil wanted to destroy me but the God of my blessing did not let it”
You called me your blessing
You called me your daughter
What did you call me?
Your pillar, your first daughter
There was no pretence
No lies, no deception
No other woman besides my mother has blessed me the way you did
I could report Ekom to you
Shebi I said I will buy what you’ll wear for the wedding as your fashion sense is rusty?
Shebi you said you want to live with us when we get married?
I know we said, “Ha ,not immediately” but now, I take it back
You can come and stay as long as you like
Your Son…
The man I will marry
What should he do now?
What about all the plans we had, he had?
Couldn’t you have waited a bit longer?
What you have said…
They are coming to pass
The prophetic utterances you made by the auction of the Holy Spirit
We see them now…
So you won’t dance at the reception?
You’ll dance in heaven?
I tried…
I tried to show you how much of a daughter-in-law  you would get
I wanted to do more
I’m told to be strong for Ekom
The task is harder than I thought
I don’t know how to make him grieve
He smiles and comforts others
Yet his eyes are sunken
And yet I grieve
I may not have been your daughter-in-law
But you made me your daughter
And I grieve
We lay you in the ground
Finding comfort in this one small thing
You are in an amazing better place
And we will still see you again

Achenyo is a Love Coach with passion for life and love. She believes that learning love is the only way to become the best versions of ourselves and thus, live a happy, fulfilling, authentic lives. Visit achenyoswall.blogspot.com or connect with her on Facebook
19 Comments
  • Queeneth
    June 2, 2015

    Waoohh, so heart touching. God comforts u all n continue to RIP great mother of my best friend n d naughtiest of all my friends. My prayers wit u Utin n Archibong. Blessing, looking forward to meeting u.

  • Olumide Taiwo
    June 2, 2015

    Touchy!!!
    I stood imagining what a great woman she must have been, seeing in her smile the expressions of simplicity, love, and strenght, as she looked graciously in her picture.
    Evidently, she was a great woman. Her sons her a testimony. And more especially you, Blessing and Ekom, you two are a testimony of her greatness.
    Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted. Oustanding comforting testimonies are on the way.

    • Achenyo Blessing Alfa
      June 4, 2015

      Your comment is really encouraging. We take strength from these words. Thank you for everything and I mean everything.

      Amen and Amen.

  • Gracejunkie
    June 2, 2015

    May her gentle soul rest in peace…… quite touching and heat warming piece…. God sure needed her and definitely she is in a better place. Take heart my dear Friend….

  • Andrew Okoro
    June 2, 2015

    This almost brought me to tears. Its so beautiful. Sincere. SB, she’s happy in heaven, glad her son has been blessed enough to find the right one. May the God of blessing bring you and Ekom comfort beyond your imaginations.

  • Emma Itam
    June 3, 2015

    Such a loving woman. Gone too soon. May her beautiful and loving soul RIPP. Blessing and Archibong,the lord is ur strength in dis tym of grief an he will comfort u.

  • ogbonnayaEMMANUEL
    June 3, 2015

    Nicely penned…
    My heart really does go out to you both.
    May God comfort you in His own special way.
    The person who dies in Christ is never lost, they only go ahead of the rest of us remaining on this side of eternity.

  • Blessing
    June 3, 2015

    Touching

    My heart really goes to bother of you. Though you love mama but God loves her most. I belive mama is smilling down from heaven about… ADIEU MAMA

  • Ebuka
    June 5, 2015

    Beautiful piece. What a eulogy! So beautiful and heart breaking at the same time. God bless your heart and grant her eternal rest.

  • GABRIEL AYEGBO
    June 8, 2015

    Actually we meet to part and we part to meet again God knows what best for us and only HIM determins what best for us cos HE rules in our LIFE

  • Becky
    June 11, 2015

    This brought tears running down my eyes. But we wld also rejoice, becos mum has left a world of pain to a world of peace. And may her blessings upon u nd Archi be so.
    You’re source of inspiration! Go girl!!

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