I didn’t start dating early like some people who started dating from high school. I think I started dating when I got to the university. When I was starting out my first relationship years ago, I was made to believe that the best partners, were those who could help you or whose parents were wealthy, who had the ability to open big doors. Being a young naïve lad, there were a few girls, who offered themselves, to be my “sleeping partner” or “bedmate“; to whom I could go, if I had financial challenges. I left myself a backdoor. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Easy come, easy go.
After several years of struggling, I ran to God. It was a deep personal decision. However, having made this decision, I threw myself with total fervor, often reading the “The Prayer Study Guide” and “Faith study guide” all by Kenneth Hagin, back to back, several times and my bible too, as I tried to “come up to speed”, with my new found love.
It was at this time, that I came to realise that I had to “play and succeed, by a different set of rules“, God’s rules. My relationships had to align with my faith and trust in God.
I could not, and would not choose a partner, simply on the basis of their ability to wield influence, or to sponsor my activities.
Let me tell you, this set me on a collision course, because I was essentially shunning a system, where if you introduce your girlfriend or partner to your friends, the first question they ask you is, what does she do or who is her father? I was despised and mocked for it. Those who were polite called me naive, and others not so kind, said I was a fool. I lost some friends because, I had a shift in my mentality. Often I had to walk away from temptations that were just “mouth watering“ even from powerful figures for same sex relationships. Sometimes, I was kicked out of business opportunities, leaving others to take over what I had started.
I once read a phrase that when you find God, you find everything. I found myself when I found God. The hard lesson God taught me about relationships is that the checklist for a partner is not the daughter of some big powerful politician, or a lady with a lot of money, or a lady who has a high paid job. But a lady who is willing to work hard, very hard, alongside you, a lady who is ready to compliment you not compete with you. She maybe dark skinned or white skinned, even from a different tribe or nationality from you. What is key is to align your values, and respect each other’s space. Never mind the money, the power and the influence. Focus on God, and all the puzzles will fall in place.
Life is often a roller coaster with lots of uncertainty and chaos. When you’re in the struggle, it’s tough to see a clear path to success, but it’s crucial not to let your current circumstances guide you. You must embrace those challenges, because that’s where your hunger for a better life is developed. T.D Jakes said in one of his sermons that your power is in your partner. This is true indeed. You are a lot closer to six figures with the right partner.
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